A letter to our family and friends

Thank you for not expecting too much from us this holiday season.

It will be our first Christmas without Ella and we have all we can handle coping with the 'spirit' of the holiday on the radio, TV, in the newspaper and stores. We do not feel joyous, and trying to pretend this Christmas is going to be like the last one will be impossible because we are missing one.

Please allow us to talk about Ella if we feel the need. Don't be uncomfortable with our tears. Our hearts are breaking and the tears are a way of letting out our sadness.

We plan to do something special in memory of Ella. Please recognize our need to do this in order to keep our memories alive. Our fear is not that we will forget, but that you will.

Please don't criticize us if we do something that you don't think is normal. We are different people now and it may take a long time before these different people reach an acceptance of Ella's death.

As we move through the stages of grief, we will need your patience and support, especially during these holiday times and the 'special' days throughout the year.

Thank you for not expecting too much from us this holiday season.

Love Natalie and Jeff